An exit through knowledge (savoir)
Psychoanalysis and Desire
Regarding his experience with psychoanalysis, Sebastián Franco C. says, ‘he has been able to understand the reasons behind his actions and choices. He has also come to understand the reasons that led him to wander through dark places, driven by his drive, places to which he does not want to return. Here, his desire to live has been underpinned by his commitment to teaching and knowledge, as a path in line with the desire that dwells within him’.
He also says that “it has been a journey, a constant movement. It is a departure from certain positions that he had held since childhood and to which he had become accustomed. To everything that others wanted from him, to please them in order to feel desired, loved. It is an image of an ideal being that others constructed for him, and which he feared disappointing, as he could lose the love he received. They had reached the point of choosing for him’.
Sebastián says he thought he wanted to study medicine. He didn’t get into this programme at university and finally decided on engineering. Today, he continues,’ he is not a doctor, it would have been another serious mistake. He didn’t feel comfortable in his engineering studies either, but there he found a small space that would allow him to support himself”. He had found nourishment for his soul in literature.
‘During his studies, he also had the opportunity to start teaching, finding here what would later become his way of supporting himself in life’. After a brief work experience in a private company, he decided to return to the classroom.
Through analysis, he has also gradually abandoned ‘the position of believing himself to be a saviour. He had often found himself compromised by trying to help others in areas where they did not want to help themselves and which were not his responsibility either’.
‘There are many things he has come to understand through his experience with his analyst, Yoany Rendón. I have been finding my way out, an exit, a better way of relating to life and to my desire’.
As he progresses in his analysis, Sebastian concludes, ‘he is accessing and understanding certain things about his singularity that he has to resolve. It is not possible to access that knowledge (savioir) and remain still; one has to keep working’.
